How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
