I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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