Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she woke up with a sticky ear
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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