atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
