she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
