You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
