Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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