quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
