Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
