I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
