My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize