Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
