That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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