are you so shy because you have an std?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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