What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
