we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
