I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
