I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
