the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I could fuck to npr.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
