yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am midnight drunk by noon
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
