Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
