i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
