My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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