we made out on top of his cat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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