She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
