he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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