the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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