Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
