Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
