out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
