i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
