i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
