Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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