Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
