We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
