I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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