i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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