Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
