I'm jealous of your bromance
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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