Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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