I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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