I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
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Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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