She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
