He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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