Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
