I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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