it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL