I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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