isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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