it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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