That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
