i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think I just sharted jello shots
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
