We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
