When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
