I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You can't motorboat a personality
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
vagina is talking i cant
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
