i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
