i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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