A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize