you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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