there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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