You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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