if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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