Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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