so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
