My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
