hotel room ftw
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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